You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
