just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
