My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
