Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
