Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
