dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
