i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
