Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
