So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Buhtt sex?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
