If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
