Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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