I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Randomize
