6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
