I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
