I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize