well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
