Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
