Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
