do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
