i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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