Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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