Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
