The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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