so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Randomize
