I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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