Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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