so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
