she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize