She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
