How'd it feel making her break her religion?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Holy shit dude........stairs
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
