ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize