well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
we made out on top of his cat.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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