I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
We just shotgunned beers for America
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Randomize
