porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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