We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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