What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
