Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
