Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
