woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize