I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
