i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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