Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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