there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I have tasted many bathrooms
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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