I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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