he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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