their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize