About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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