Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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