The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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