Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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