we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
