belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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