he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
