May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize