How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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