Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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