In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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