We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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