my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Do vagina's smell?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
