It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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