It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I want you more than these girls want KFC
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
