Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
