Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
